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1. Comparison
Comparison is subtle but dangerous. It can show up in many forms:
- Comparing your marriage to others
- Comparing your husband to someone else’s spouse
- Comparing yourself to other women
In the age of social media, it’s easy to believe that everyone else’s relationship is happier, more romantic, or more successful. But constant comparison creates dissatisfaction. Instead of appreciating your own relationship’s strengths, you start focusing on what you think is missing.
What helps instead:
Focus on communication and shared goals. Every marriage has a unique rhythm. Strength grows when couples work on their own partnership rather than measuring it against someone else’s highlight reel.
2. Control
Control often comes from fear — fear of losing stability, respect, or emotional safety. It can look like:
- Trying to manage every decision
- Monitoring or micromanaging your partner
- Insisting on being “right” at all times
While structure and responsibility are important, excessive control can suffocate trust. A healthy marriage is built on mutual respect, not dominance.
When control becomes a habit, it can create distance instead of closeness.
What helps instead:
Practice collaboration. Healthy partnerships allow both individuals to have a voice. Letting go of the need to control everything opens space for mutual growth and shared responsibility.
3. Contempt
Contempt is perhaps the most destructive of the three. It often appears as:
- Sarcasm meant to belittle
- Eye-rolling or dismissive gestures
- Mocking your partner’s weaknesses
- Speaking with disrespect
Unlike simple disagreement, contempt attacks a person’s character. When respect disappears, emotional safety follows.
Even small moments of contempt, repeated over time, can break down intimacy and trust.
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